We changed our names, quit our jobs, and moved to a farm in a new town, in a new state.
Then our dog died in a tragic accident. Then my (life) partner left me while we were in the middle of starting our farm business together.
We had spent the past four years of our lives working toward this one goal of living self-sufficiently, closer to the land, and we had finally arrived.
So why did she leave?
That’s a question I will be asking myself for a long time to come.
In this unusual episode of the Good Life Revival Podcast, I take some time to explain what has transpired in my tumultuous personal life in 2018.
I share this, warts and all, in part because I want to make it clear that I’m no guru or master teacher with all the answers — I’m just a guy, someone just like you, trying his best to figure this stuff out as I go. I also hope it might help you sort out your own feelings about love, loss, and partnership in some small way.
I’m still searching for “the good life,” too, and I suspect I always will be.
Stick around to the end of the episode where I share a song I wrote last week, called “The How’m I Gonna Keep My Head Above Water Blues.” If you dig it, you can download it (and all of my other original music) by becoming a supporter over on Patreon. (You can check out more of my music, including my new mixtape Sunlight Thru Glass on Bandcamp.)
How’m I gonna keep my head above the water?
Sinking as I tumble down the river where I saw you bathing.
Nothing can compare with how my heart felt that day,
which is why I’ll never stop my searching for as long as I live.
Going through the motions in a kind of dazed confusion.
“Now you see me, now you don’t” — the worst kind of illusion.
Sleeping on the floor again. What day is today?
Sacrificial fire burns my fingers and toes.
Spirit, you are with me (though I’ve never found a proper noun),
laughing as I fumble through the rhythms I’ve rehearsed to death.
Meet me at the Big South Fork before it gets cold.
Flowing water leads you home as it rolls through to nowhere at all.